


That Definitely Wasn't My Apple Juice

by ginger8itch



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Hogwarts AU, M/M, Yikes, i just found this in my drafts its 2017 pls, it's cute though so i think it's worth posting, this is actually the first fanfiction i have ever posted???, this is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 14:53:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11061303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginger8itch/pseuds/ginger8itch
Summary: Your name is John Egbert and when Dave accidentally drank your love potion instead of his apple juice last hour you thought he’d start acting a little differently around you. I mean, he literally looked you in the eyes after drinking it before making a face and stating, “That definitely wasn’t my apple juice. Sorry for drinking your potions homework dude. Wanna get lunch?”





	That Definitely Wasn't My Apple Juice

Your name is John Egbert and when Dave accidentally drank your love potion instead of his apple juice last hour you thought he’d start acting a little differently around you. I mean, he literally looked you in the eyes after drinking it before making a face and stating, “That definitely wasn’t my apple juice. Sorry for drinking your potions homework dude. Wanna get lunch?” Just as he did every day. Minus the drinking of your homework of course.

You were sure that assignment had been done correctly! You had been a bit disappointed honestly, your grade in that class was already slipping and you had worked so hard on that potion! It didn’t make sense! You sigh, nodding and re-corking the now one-third empty bottle before putting it in your bag and following him to the cafeteria. Maybe it just took a little bit to kick in? 

“Hey Dave? Do you feel any...different?” You had asked hopefully.

“Not really, what was that potion supposed to do anyways? You didn’t poison me did you Egbert?” He looks genuinely alarmed for about five seconds before his signature ‘i don’t give a fuck’ face was back in place and he adjusted his shades. You huffed again, mood turning most foul. 

“No it wasn’t poisonous, sadly. Either way, it doesn’t even look like it worked. Stupid potion... I worked so hard on it too!” You whine, causing a few classmates to turn their heads as you walk past. You peer back up at your friend in disappointment again only to see him...is Dave actually smiling? You blink and furrow your eyebrows. Why’s he doing that? Is that prick laughing at your failure? You glower at him as the two of you take a seat and help yourselves to some food at the table in the far back where the majority of your friends congregate.  

“What the hell are you smiling about dude? Do you have no pity for my failed potions class?” He rolls his eyes, taking a bite of whatever it is he has chosen to eat. 

“Nah, you’re just being dumb. It’s just one potion John, it ain’t like it’s the end of the world that it isn’t affecting me. You have an E in that class anyways.” You stick your tongue out at him, munching on a roll when Jade and Karkat unceremoniously plop down in their designated seats. Karkat sits beside Dave and Jade has sidled on up next to you, the both of them playing footsie (more like how close can Jade get to kicking Karkat in the balls?) under the table. 

“Hey John! Why the long face?” Jade asks with a bright smile on her lips as per fucking usual. You love your sister, you really do, but when she’s smiling like that during your time of crisis really gets on your nerves! 

“I’m going to fail Potions and Dave is being an insensitive dick about it.” Karkat scoffs, picking the peels off an orange and giving you a look like you just tried to snort spaghetti. 

“John I think you need to ask yourself a series of questions before you start pouting like an uneducated four year old who just shit their pants and got sad because they couldn’t control their bowel movements per a whim. Seriously, when  _ isn’t _ Dave being an insensitive dick?” That is a good point. Dave mocks offense and flicks one of the discarded peels at him. 

“Wow, rude. The first interaction we’ve had all day and you’re already calling me a sack of Griffon shit. Stop picking on John too, he’s only just been introduced to the big boy potty yesterday. It ain’t his fault he’s shitting into a cauldron and callin' it a potion.” Jade giggles at that, covering her mouth and sending you an apologetic smile. Assholes, all of them. 

“What was the potion you tried to make? Maybe I can help!” You hold up a hand as you dig out the bottle and set it on the table. 

“I  _ was  _ working on a love potion, but I guess it didn’t work since Dave isn’t showing any signs of being head over heels for me yet.” You sigh, raising an eyebrow at the Cheshire cat grin that has bloomed on Karkat’s face and the knowing smile Jade has on hers. 

“What?” Jade forgoes your questions, both exchanging looks with each other as Dave chooses, for once, to stay quiet and eat his lunch. Strange. 

“Maybe you should test it on someone else? Just to make extra sure it’s not working. Oh, I have the perfect subject too! Karkat, drink this.” Before you know it they’re wrestling on the floor, Karkat squawking like a lunatic, swear words you’ve never even heard before spewing from his lips as Jade practically launches herself over the table at him. She pins him to the ground, uncorking the bottle as he screams profanities at her and forcing his mouth open to take it like a man. Dave is taking pictures on his phone, a grin on his face as Karkat flips him off. You can’t help but think that Dave has a nice smile. You’re honestly pretty sad that the love potion didn’t work on him for other reasons besides the grade and you were sort of hoping for a day of cuddly Strider fawning all over you before he came to his senses. You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Karkat makes a gross spluttery gargling noise and Jade makes a victorious cheer. You look back just in time to see Karkat’s pupils dilate before he’s tugging your sister down in one of the most disgustingly romantic kisses you have ever witnessed. Jade is adorably surprised, eyes wide before slipping shut as she starts to kiss him back. You gag. 

“Eugh, you guys! That’s gross, PDA!!” Jade is the one to flip you off this time and you purposefully avert your gaze to Dave who...seems to have been looking at you. You blink, raising an eyebrow as he snaps out of it quickly getting up and mumbling something about using the bathroom. What’s gotten into him? It’s just a love potion---wait. You watch as he quickly retreats, his dumb ass robe billowing behind him and your eyes growing rather wide at the realization. The love potion worked. The love potion had  _ worked!  _ You’re immediately getting up and rushing after him. Why hadn’t he reacted if it had worked? What was he hiding behind those stupid shades of his that would tell you all you needed to know?

You ran quickly, managing to catch him just as he was about to retreat into the HufflePuff commons. 

“Dave! You get your ass back here right now or so help me I’ll put dung beetles in your things for a week!” A serious threat for a serious issue. He stops, the epitome of cool as he shoves his hands in his pockets and turns to look at you. 

“Jesus dicks alright, chill out. I’m standin' right here, the coolest marble statue in Olympus’ sculpture garden. Muscles so toned they rival Hercules himself. Eyes as bl--” You smack him in the arm and he swears, rubbing at it with a scowl. 

“Dude, what was that for?”

“Where the hell are you going? I thought you had to pee!” He pales, scratching the back of his head casually. 

“I lied. I have some shit I gotta study for. Maps and stuff.” Maps? You raise an eyebrow at him and cross your arms. 

“Dave, why are you lying? The love potion didn’t work on you, did it? How could it work on Karkat and not on you? ” You are about as confused as Helga up there as she stares down at the two of you in concern, no doubt preparing to stop any upcoming drama. 

“Who said it didn’t?” That caught you about five hundred miles off guard. 

“What?”

“Who said it didn’t work? I never said it wasn’t working, I just said it wasn’t affecting me.” 

“I’m pretty sure those are the same thing, Dave! If it’s not affecting you then it’s not working!” 

“Not if I already act like I’m in love with you without it dumbass.” That shuts you both up and you stand there, eyes big and mind trying desperately to catch up with your mouth. Sadly what happens next isn’t exactly going according to plan. 

“You’re not in a geography class. Why did you say you need to go study maps?” He’s gotten kind of red and is leaning against the wall behind him as if he’s bracing himself for something. His reply is instantaneous and enough to make you snort. 

“Because I keep getting lost in your eyes. Duh, Jesus John, get with the program.” Yeah, same old Dave. This...this is pretty great for you actually. You grin at him, eyes narrowing in mirth...or your prankster gambit going off. 

“You really know how to woo a man Dave. I’m swooning.” The small smirk that had made it on his face was falling and you figured that being a dick wasn’t at all endearing as you had hoped it to be. 

“Alright, enough fun. Come here so I can break this spell on you okay?” 

“What? Dude, I’m pretty sure that’s not how potions work. Wait, what are you--?” You’re too busy kissing him to let him finish, not expecting him to react as quickly as he does once it’s clear you feel the same. His arms wrap around you tight as he all but molds himself against you, head tilted just slightly so that the two of you are a perfect fit. Your grip on his tie slackens and you lock your hands behind his neck, one tangled in his stupidly soft hair that he totally uses girl shampoo for. He can’t convince you otherwise, no matter how hard he tries. 

The second he pulls away, you’re smiling like a goofball and are pleasantly surprised to see that he is too. It’s enough of a surprise that you find yourself kissing him again, warm feeling making itself comfortable in your chest. 

“John? You didn’t drink that shitty potion while I wasn’t looking did you?” You roll your eyes. 

“No Dave, this is all me. One hundred percent homo just for your gay butt. You wanna go help me hide frogs in Mister Slick’s office?” 

“Fuck yeah, is that even a question? Let’s go.” 

“Wait, one more thing.” You smile, leaning up to kiss him sweetly one last time before untangling yourself and tugging him along. 

“You’re an insensitive prick.” 

“But I’m  _ your  _ insensitive prick.” 

“And don’t you forget it.” 

 


End file.
